THE TOADS TAME THE WOLVES

The Frampton Cotterell TOADS (Too Old And Decrepid) played host to the visiting Old Wolves (Les Vieux Loups) of Parisis at the weekend.

With many of the players nursing sore heads from the previous night antics the game had all the makings of being a rather laboured effort but that couldn’t have been further from the truth. Even with typical English weather and the wind and rain howling across the pitch, this did not prevent an open game of rugby.

A vocal group of TOADS started the proceedings with the English national anthem on the centre line which was followed by the anthem of the French from the wolves.

With the players spurred on by the local Frampton cheerleading champions the wolves started the game strongly and pressured the TOADS back to their line. Some great defence kept them at bay but eventually the line was broken and the TOADs found themselves 5 – 0 down. This brought the TOADS to life and they too enjoyed a spell in their opponents half but as half time beckoned the effects of the alcohol from the night before were starting to show. Both sides contested strongly and the tension started to rise with the man in the centre Tony Swash having to show his seniority.

The TOADS gradually closed in on the Wolves line and after a string of off sides and killing the ball by the wolves the TOADS were awarded a penalty. The wolves were clearly taken by surprise when blind side flanker Lynett took the penalty quickly and drove over the line to bring the score level. Unfortunately, even Weaver could not bring his old kicking talent to compete against the adverse weather conditions.

With both sides looking forward to a half time refreshment they were surprised when John ‘Basil Faulty’ Britton appeared donning moustache and apron and carrying a tray of finest port and stilton cheese. Just what the doctor ordered.

With both sides stimulated by the energy drinks and protein bars, the second half was poised for a bruising encounter. With several changes made the TOADS felt they would have the upper hand with fresh legs. With Shepherd and Plant promoted to second row this made way for veterans ridesy, Mousedale and Knight to bolster the side.

The forwards began making some yards up the pitch and it wasn’t long before Frampton set loose their secret weapon Barry ‘I haven’t lost it’ Whitehead. With a jig here and there Whitehead crossed the line to give the TOADS the lead. Weaves was by now seeing double vision but he aimed for the one in the middle and successfully put the ball between the sticks.

Frampton continued to apply the pressure and with continued hard work from the forwards the backs were let loose. The wolves were now tiring and Frampton began to put on a show. A miss move in the centre saw Mark Chaplin battle his way through the defence to claim a try. This was closely followed by another for Mr Whitehead.

The wolves were now angry and after Frederick Aloy ran over Chaps the French side sneaked through to increase their tally to ten points.

A further try was quickly claimed by Whitehead as his show went on but undoubtedly the move of the match came when Weaves released a pass around his back into the path of Ricky ‘Neoprene’ Shepherd who stumbled across the line for a try. Again, Weaves stepped up to add the two points.

The wolves scored a late try but it was too late bringing the final result to 33 – 17.

A Comfortable victory in the end for Frampton but a game played with great spirit and excellently reffed by the man in the middle Tony Swash. Man of the match was awarded to Nathan Cole.

As the game finished, it was off to the bar for an evening of fine wine, English beer and dancing.